Hello everyone! 🙂
Soo, Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and I’ve seen everyone writing ‘Valentine’s Day themed’ posts, so I said: ‘Why don’t I do the same thing? But a little different…’
I personally like Valentine’s Day only for the chocolate sales. (i know, i know… ‘cliche’! But it’s true…) Otherwise, let’s be real, it’s a made up holiday designed for florists and card stores… and occasionally breaking couples up.
Now, since most of my friends are single, I’ve noticed there are several different types of single girls and I’d like to share them with you.
(this is not supposed to be generic or offensive, it’s just for laughs and giggles… Thank you for understanding)
1) The Desperate One
I think it’s safe to say that we all have that one friend. (or we are/have been her at some point) It’s the girl that just NEEDS a boyfriend. But not any random guy, no, she wants a Ryan Gosling or Augustus Waters.
Your conversations have to, at some point include the following phrases (or some similar ones):
– ‘I want a boyfriend’ (the most common one)
– ‘I wish I had a guy to give me his hoodie and whom I could cuddle on a sofa.’
– ‘I want a guy who will love me for me. Not for my looks, but for my personality. He’d see the good in me and would stay when everyone else leaves.’
– ‘I NEED A BOYFRIEND WHY DON’T I HAVE ONE WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME AM I UGLY UGH I REALLY WANT A DARN BOYFRIEND’ (yup, yelling)
Also, it’s common for these girls to cry because they ‘feel lonely’ and to watch way too many romance movies. I’m talking The Notebook, A Walk To Remember, (basically every Nicholas Sparks movie ever), Love Actually, Stuck In Love… any movie that involves that cheesy romantic stuff that makes everyone barf and go ‘awww’. (at the same time?) The playlists on their phones usually contain at least a dozen love/romance songs (e.g: ‘Just The Way You Are’, ‘Grenade’ – Bruno Mars, ‘All Of Me’ – John Legend, ‘She Looks So Perfect’ – 5SOS, ‘Crazy In Love’, ‘Love On Top’ and all of the other Beyonce love songs… etc.) as well as “I’m-sorry-I-was-wrong” songs, specifically sung by males. (e.g: ‘When I Was Your Man’ – Bruno Mars, a lot of ‘5 Seconds Of Summer’ songs, Ed Sheeran)
2) The Obsessed One
Now, this type of single girl can sometimes be mixed up with the desperate one. But there is one crucial difference: the obsessed one has a crush. And she doesn’t want ANYBODY else. To her, her crush is waaaay better that Ryan Gosling. Psh, who even is Augustus Waters?
That’s the girl that always makes a huge deal out of the smallest things. (e.g: ‘OHMYGOD, ‘so and so’ looked at me!! But it wasn’t just a normal look, which, I’m pretty sure, means he wants to get married and have 10 kids right away’) There is also a more subtle version where she just says: ‘I don’t know why ‘so and so’ keeps staring at me so much… I mean, seriously, the back of my head is legitimately burning because he stares so much…’ where she wants you to say ‘Giiiirl, ohmygosh, you were meant to be! That’s it, I’m booking a wedding planer right now, can I be your brides made?’ and before you know it, you’re talking about what their kids’ names will be and are creating their house with a big backyard for the dogs and kids to run around.
She typically doesn’t share her obsession with a lot of people. Maybe 1-3 close friends, but that’s it. Especially after a long time of having the obsession.
3) The Fangirl
This type can be separated into 2 subcategories. Either: a) She has multiple crushes, one is the crush she’s had for a longer period of time (she probably forgot why she likes him), one she likes for his personality, one for his looks, etc. But, I’m going to focus on the ‘one for his looks’. She gets crazy when she sees him. She almost drools and turns into a complete maniac. Stuff that can be heard from her are:
– ‘OHMYGOSH, we’re breathing the same air!!’ (if he’s in the same room as her)
– ‘OHMYGOSH, look at his ____’ (the blank can be filled with any physical feature)
– ‘ *sigh* He’s just so….. perfect’
She also might be a bit obsessed with ’50 Shades Of Grey’
or b) She is in love with a famous person/fictional character. (this is pretty self-explanatory)
4) The Pervert
This is the girl that is so perverted that she turns everything anyone says into an innuendo. Everything! And she usually has perverted answers to any normal sentence that she hears. (might come off as immature) Examples:
‘Oh man, I got a D in Spanish’ – ‘huehue, lucky you’
‘The door says push. PUSH!’ – ‘huehue’
‘Oh my, what a lovely day outside’ – ‘huehue’
*note: ‘huehue’ is the laugh used when an innuendo occurs. I just didn’t know how to ‘put it into words’*
5) The Free-And-Independent-Woman
Now, this is the lady who just doesn’t need a man. She’s single and she’s happy about it, because she’s a free and independent woman. Just hearing all the complicated crap couples do makes her go: ‘Nah, I don’t need no man!’
Her anthem would be the Pussicat Dolls ‘I Don’t Need A Man’.
She either had really really bad experiences with men or she knows people that have been through that. Either way, she’s single and she’s proud of it.
And that’s all I have for this post. 🙂 I hope you liked it, maybe found it funny and that you didn’t get offended. (because that was really not my intention)
Also, if you can relate, be sure to comment below saying which of these ‘types’ are you/do you know, so we can all bond over our single-ness. (or the single-ness of our friends haha)
Thank you so much for reading and I’ll see you soon.